Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
