I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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