I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
