i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize