with your own penis?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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