So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
