Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
