I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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