She announced her abortion via fbk
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
