It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
