love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
