i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
