Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
