next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
