Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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