i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
