butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
