If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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