I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
