It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
