I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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