We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
