dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
