Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
