it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
