I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
