i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
