i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
