"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
