with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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