Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
