he puts the penis in happiness.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
