My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
