woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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