Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
