I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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