We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
