Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
