Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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