she woke up with a sticky ear
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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