the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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