why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
These tits shall not be calmed
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
