billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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