I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
