Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
