Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
