So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize