Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
