I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
