Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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