I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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