I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
