I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
