is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
