I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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