Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
