You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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