Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
