I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
