She went from zero to smokin in five shots
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm sobbing to NWA
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
