woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
