I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
